Ballad of the Potato
by KinishiKaze
Summary: Two years after Hitomi leaves Gaia, Van is sure that she'll never return. He foolishly falls for Mitsumi, a commoner. But her faithful potato is not just a potato. You have never seen a villain like this one. Or have you? Looks are decieving, my friend.


A/N: Hello everyone! Kinishi Kaze here! First of all, I would like to thank you all for stopping by to read my fanfic! This is actually my first fanfic, but I hope that you'll like it. I warn you that it may be a bit random at times. o.O But not totally insane. (Though insanity is good. )

A few of you may know DBS. Dilandau's Best Slayer? Ring any bells? Yeah. Well, I'm her apprentice! So yay. Slayer's apprentice. Kinda catchy. o.o Anyway. She also beta read for me and stuff. So thanks! glomp

DBS: o.x Ergh. recovers Might I also request that you review? Reviews help aspiring fanfic authors and also increase the speed of updates. I live off of reviews, myself. munches on the few that she has

Kinishi Kaze: Azure Raelin has helped too, so a big thanks to you! glomp And now for the disclaimer! inhales VAAAAAAN!

Van: comes out of nowhere Kinishi Kaze doesn't own Escaflowne. She's just borrowing the characters and making them do what she says for a while.

Kinishi Kaze: Thanks! And now, on with the fic!

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Chapter One: Pretty Girls and Potatoes

Van sighed as he signed yet another useless document regarding Fanelia's relations with another country. Life in the castle had been so dull after Hitomi had left. The girl had departed but two years ago, and Van, being the ever hopeful soul he was, still dreamed of her return. But the likelihood of Hitomi reappearing on Gaia seemed slim to none. Still, the young king could not forget about her. Her green eyes. Her short, honey-brown hair. The way her shoes made enormous suction cup noises as they slipped off. Her-no. Van had to forget, otherwise he'd be consumed by sadness and longing. After being fully devoured by these emotions he would most likely eventually shrivel up and die. How appealing. Forgetting about Hitomi would be the hardest thing he'd ever have to do, but he had to try. For the sake of himself, and the sake of Fanelia.

He jumped up from his chair. "I HAVE DECIDED! I WILL FORGET ABOUT HITOMI!" he shouted triumphantly while punching the air. But after a moment's worth of glory, he sat down in defeat. This declaration had only lead to more Hitomi-related thoughts. Sulking, he continued signing papers. At this point he wasn't even reading what was on the papers; he was just signing away. But finally, as the last document acquired his signature...he heard on knock on the door of his study. One quick knock followed by a sharp rap. That was a signal of presence used by one servant and one servant only. _Rufus._

"Van-sama?" came the voice of said servant. "I have a few more documents here that King Shmorganigit would like you to sign."

"Oh, really?" Van growled. Rufus was always the one who brought him these torture devices, commonly called documents. But ooohhh no, they were really torture devices. He'd make them illegal in all of Fanelia some day. Screw all the other countries, he was seventeen-years-old and was determined to have _fun _being king.

"Hai," came the messenger's reply, "Fifty-two of them, to be exact."

Van's eyes grew wide. _Fifty-two?!_ That many more documents meant at least another hour or two of torture. Besides that, fifty-two was hardly a _few _documents. Van shot a death glare towards the door. At this rate his right hand was bound to fall off before he turned twenty. Again, wouldn't that be appealing?

The distressed teen started to form a plan in his head. It was a good plan. Stupid, yes, but good. And he had every intention of carrying it out. Thus he jumped up from his chair and, not even bothering to reply to Rufus, leapt out the window of his study. He needed to be free for the afternoon, and landing from a fifteen-foot fall was worth it (He, of course, didn't stop to consider the fact that he had wings). Landing safely, he sprinted towards the town-square. No one would ever find him within the hustle and bustle of the market. He started to laugh evilly at the thought of his guards searching desperately to no avail, but stopped suddenly when he realized that he was seriously starting to sound like Dilandau. Shuddering at that idea, he started to run a little bit faster.

Slowing down as he reached the market's entrance, Van looked at the scene around him. The market certainly didn't compare to the standards of the castle. But of course, that was to be expected. He was a king in the territory of peasants. Van carefully wound his way through the various stands, looking at items that lay out on the tables. Books, jewelry, fruits and vegetables...nothing interesting. But anything was better than signing those godforsaken papers. The king found himself staring into a barrel of potatoes when someone near to him spoke.

"Um, sir?" came the voice.

Van tensed. Had he been found? Not stopping to think that the voice could have been addressing anyone else, he spun around. "Yes? What do you want?"

The owner of the voice turned to look at him, and Van instantly realized that she was not a pestering guard. She had deep blue eyes and long, raven black hair. She wore her hair in a small bow, which made her look undoubtedly innocent. She was about the height of Van, with a long, slender body. Though thoughts of Hitomi still lingered deep within his mind, Van couldn't deny it. She had to be one of the most beautiful girls to ever be seen on Gaia. Any man who argued with that was either blind, married, or gay.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't talking to you, mister. I was talking to Howard." the girl replied, shoving a potato into Van's face. She smiled.

"I'm Van." he muttered around the potato. It was a common enough name, so she wouldn't know he was the king.

"I'm Mitsumi. It's very nice to meet you." She bowed slightly and smiled again, taking Howard away to shake Van's hand. Van smiled as well. It was such a great feeling to speak to someone without being so formal.

Only the gods knew how Van and Mitsumi went on a date. Actually, both Van and the gods knew. He'd seen guards roaming around at a nearby fish market and hastily asked Mitsumi if she wanted to go somewhere. At any rate, Mitsumi didn't know the real reason behind their outing. Mitsumi had insisted that Howard the potato come as well. Van happily agreed, though he was a little weirded out by Mitsumi's choice of friends.

They decided to dine at Fanelia's only café, quite creatively named Café Fanelia. Hitomi had described cafés to Van right before she had left. Ah, Hitomi....He was thinking about her again. He felt a little guilty, being on a date with another girl...but....

"You're drinks, sir and madam." It took the voice of the waiter to help Van reclaim control of his thoughts."

"Thank you," he said, taking his drink and throwing a gold coin to the waiter. The man looked a little baffled, but grinned, bowing to Van and giving many thanks.

When the waiter finally left, Mistumi smiled at Van. "Wow, Van. I would've never guessed that you were so loaded." she said, looking at his simple red shirt, khaki pants, and boots. Normal attire, really, but that was good considering the fact that Van didn't want to be discovered.

"Eh?" replied Van as he took a drink of his lemonade.

"You gave that waiter a golden coin as a tip. I'm sure he wasn't expecting anything but a thank you."

"Oh..." Van hadn't realized that the people of Fanelia were so poor. He'd have to do something about that.

Van and Mitsumi conversed about the usual, or at least the usual to a peasant. Mitsumi complained with passion about the conditions that her and her family had to live in: How her mother had died of disease, leaving her with only her father and older brother. Her brother had been forced to move to Blidderstahn to earn money for the family. Yes, Blidderstahn. King Shmorganigit's domain. She then proceeded to talk about the high demand of pigs in the economy. Van stared at her in awe; he had never imagined how hard life was outside of castle gates. Regardless, signing documents still sucked in his mind.

"I blame everything on one person. I bet you can guess who it is, right?" she said, smirking.

"Who?" Van asked curiously. He really had no idea, being a king and all.

Mitsumi huffed. "Van-sama, of course!"

Van nearly fell out of his chair. Did all commoners think like this? And why the hell was Fanelia's economy such a mess?! It obviously had something to do with the papers he'd signed. Van suddenly realized that what they said actually was important. "Damn you, Shmorganigit..." he mumbled. He made a mental note to read everything on the documents from that moment on.

Mitsumi continued complaining about life while Van sat there sulking. "And you know what the worst part of it all is?" she asked, causing Van to pay attention once more. "Potato prices are so high that all of poor Howard's little friends are rotting in their barrels instead of being sold." With this she snuggled Howard close to her face, sighing as she did so. Van swore that he felt his eye twitch. Still, Mitsumi was a very cute person, he decided. Very cute indeed.

"Almost as cute as Hitomi..." he murmured. Fortunately, Mitsumi didn't hear him.

"Van? I have to use the lavatory." she said as she stood up. "I'll be right back!" She turned and skipped towards the bathroom.

"Alright," Van called after her. He noticed that an old man was giggling to himself. Under closer inspection, Van realized that the senior citizen was obviously very frisky and was staring at Mitsumi's rear end. He grabbed his glass of lemonade and violently threw it at the old man, causing him to fall over unconcious. 'Damn freaky old people...' he thought. Luckily, he got away with the attack. No one had been watching him at the time.

After asking for another lemonade from the waiter, the king settled down in his seat, searching his mind for a random topic to ponder. Naturally, due to his location, he started thinking of Mitsumi. Then he thought of love. And then he thought of a certain girl from the Mystic Moon. "God dammit!" Van shouted, causing a few people in the café to jump.

'This isn't working...' he thought to himself. 'I love Hitomi so much. Or is it possible that I _loved_ her? Am I over her now? No, obviously not. I keep thinking about her. But what about Mistumi? She's cute, funny, pretty...and she also lives on the same planet as I do, which is a good thing.' He sighed. 'Just face it, Van. Hitomi's not coming back. She hated Gaia. Well, no. She hated it, then she liked it, but she left anyway. Damn, why did I let her go? Okay. She isn't coming back. But Mitsumi will return from the bathroom shortly. So, I need to stop thinking about Hitomi. Here I go. I'm not thinking about Hitomi....Nope, definitely not.....Don't think about her.....DAMMIT, I'M THINKING ABOUT HER!' Van gave an exasperated sigh.

A deep chuckle filled Van's ears, jolting him back to reality. "Van, King of Fanelia." Van's glance darted from person to person in the small café. But no one seemed to be speaking to him. Was one of his guards playing a trick? No, his guards wouldn't do that. They knew he could have them killed, right?

"Who said that?" he demanded.

"I did," said the voice matter-of-factly. "I can't believe my eyes, Van. Well, I guess technically I don't have eyes, and thusly can't see anything, but I still know you're there, so it's the same thing."

Van was confused. No eyes? How could that be? People had eyes. Half-beasts had eyes. Squirrels had eyes, for crap's sake! So was the thing talking to him inanimate? That. of course, did not make sense.

"You have grown, you know. It baffles me that the king of Fanelia is sitting here, right before my...hm...well, not eyes," the voice continued, "But you're still sitting pretty close to me. Too bad I can't do anything in my current state."

Fortunately for Van, the voice seemed to be the only one that knew he was the seventeen-year-old ruler of Fanelia.

Van scanned the table for any signs of life. He only saw a water ring from his glass (that now lay shattered by the still unconscious body of the elderly man), Mitsumi's drink, some curse words and rude phrases carved into the table by previous diners, and Howard, whom Mitsumi had left behind. Giving up, Van's eyes rested on Howard, waiting for the voice to return and give him another clue.

"I can sense your gaze. It's quite rude to stare, you know!"

Van leapt back as he realized that the potato was the one who was speaking to him. A talking spud was very intimidating, after all. "How...how..." he stuttered.

To Van's relief, Mitsumi returned to the table at that exact moment, seeing a happy potato and a very confused young man. She appeared to look exactly the same; her trip to fix her makeup was obviously pointless. Van didn't seem to care though; he liked how Mitsumi looked. But if anyone knew that Van was dating a commoner, they would be shocked. You couldn't blame the guy, though. After all, he was a seventeen-year-old king with raging hormones.

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A/N: Well, that's the end of chapter one. It was short, I know, but if I added more it would be waaaaay too long.

Oh, and about the suction cup shoes thing. Near the end of the series, Hitomi is carrying something up the stairs and her shoe slips off, making a really strange and loud sound that really doesn't fit the event at all. o.O But anyway, until next time!


End file.
